As experts in online dating profiles, profile pictures and dating messages, we’re often asked for our thoughts about which online dating site is ‘best’. And given that we’re friendly, helpful guys and gals with a closet full of opinions about our experiences online, we’re always happy to help out.

It of course makes sense that if you’ve enlisted Pen My Profile to help write your dating profile, you’ll be keen to make sure it’s showcased on the best site. (And avoids any responses as per The Slap above!) Why groom your prize filly then parade it around the local park? Why wear your Sunday best then go down the chippy? *And other similarly laboured metaphors*

So, yes, we’re always keen to help. But the fact it is really is as simple as working out what you want from your online adventure and making sure the site you’re on caters for that.

Here’s our run down of our top four sites and (in our humble opinion) the average user of said site:

eHarmony – For those that like to think there’s science behind dating and for that reason, a favourite with men and women in ‘sensible’  jobs, looking for a drama-free experience

Match.com – Online dating’s bubble and squeak – everything out the fridge thrown in one pan. Some are only after one thing, some are desperate for babies; but most are nice, normal people looking for a relationship.

Plenty of Fish – Tesco Value bubble and squeak. Of course, as a free site, POF attracts plenty of pond scum as well as charming fish. Our experience has shown that POF has the highest percentage of ‘online players’ who just want a hook up. But if you’ve time to sift through the chaff, the sheer numbers involved means your chances of finding a date are increased.

My Single Friend – A favourite of the under-40s, MSF can be creditted with making online dating feel like ‘met through mates’ – it normalised the process. Hooray! In our experience, a site full of nice, fun people genuinely up for dating and relationships. However, a word of warning – think carefully about what your mate’s said about you and how it portrays you. It’s what potential daters will read first, so don’t be afraid to asked your mate for amends! Just as a side note, if you plump for our Full Works package, we’ll take a look at your friend’s section for free. Go us.

And if you don’t really fancy any of the above? Our advice would be to go niche! There might be less daters on there, but one that’s worth it is better than ten unsuitables in your inbox. Try one of our favourites – Singles Warehouse, which is a great alternative to free sites like POF and full of great dates. If you’re into fun for one night, go for My Fun Buddy. Religious? Find a site specific to your beliefs. Hey, there’s even sites for interests as niche as VW lovers!

Hands up who resolved to sort out their love life in 2013?

Well, we’ve certainly had a right old time here in the Pen My Profile office chatting with daters who have done just that! *wipes sweat off brow*

It’s been a busy old time here, as we’ve battled through snow and ice to respond to your pleas for help with your online dating profiles and we’ve loved every second.

So who’s our latest lovely lover that we’ve ‘Hitch’ed like cyber Cillas?

Step forward Craig!

Craig came to us for a Full Works package having seen our dating profile examples and having had a slow start on his My Single Friend journey. So we helped out with some suggested amends to his mate’s recommendation and a re-write of Craig’s own section.

And did he love it? Yeah he did! *dating profile lasso*

Over to the man himself with a few of his nice comments…

“Thank you – that’s absolutely superb! I’m really pleased I contacted Pen My Profile. I’d also like to thank you for the constant contact and excellent customer service you’ve provided from first point of contact.”

*blushes* Thank you Craig!

]]> http://www.penmyprofile.com/customer-feedback-craig/feed/ 0 http://www.penmyprofile.com/customer-feedback-claire/ http://www.penmyprofile.com/customer-feedback-claire/#comments Sat, 01 Dec 2012 18:07:10 +0000 admin http://www.penmyprofile.com/?p=700

We always get excited when we hear from a customer that their profile is working for them – so loved this latest email from the lovely Claire!

She chose our Full Works package and is now in the exciting stage of sifting through emails from admirers. The best bit? She shared some of her responses with us, and they’re all interested in HER, not just her pictures, and seem to have lots in common. Finger’s crossed for Claire!

We read earlier that apparently one in five women has ended a relationship because their significant other was always playing video games.

As one FIFA widow put it here in the PenMyProfile.com office, ‘I’m three more matches off being one of those five!’

Which got us thinking about hobbies and pastimes that are a real turn-off, and – much like our previous post about ‘Atom Bomb words’ that should be avoided – what passions you should keep quiet about in your online dating profile until you know someone a little better.

Obviously computer games is up there. As is, for some people, a huge passion for football.

For men, our research has shown that women who talk too much about their love for shopping rings the ‘ditzy’ alarm bells.

We’ve found that either sex talking about ‘nights in on the sofa’ has become a dating  profile cliché up there with GSOH and WLTM.

Of course, there is the obvious flipside to this – isn’t it important that your dating profile is true to who you are and what you are looking for? To which we would reply a resounding ‘Of course!’

But the advice we always give is to think of your profile like your holiday snaps. Much like you edit out those pics where you’ve had a few too many Pina Coladas, or are squinting into the sun, in your dating profile think about the information you give and the value it’s adding.

After all, which profile is going to get the dates? ‘I play FIFA every night’ or ‘I love keeping up with technology’.

He recruited the help of pal Joey Essex to get him up online and his search for the perfect woman underway, but later we found that his profile had attracted no messages and hardly any views.

While TOWIE classes itself as ‘scripted reality’, struggling with getting your profile started is in fact a reality for most online daters – so no need to worry Arg!

We popped Arg a tweet to see if he might want to call on the experts – we’ll keep you posted if he enlists PenMyProfile’s dating profile help to get his love life back on track!

In an ideal world, we’d all have a job we loved. The alarm would go off at 7am and we’d jump out of bed, keen to get to work and get on with the day. We’d proudly tell strangers what we do and relish the extra-curricular networking, dinners or tasks required to grow in our careers. But in reality, very few of us can admit we’ve hit the jackpot when it comes to the day job.

Most of us admit that it’s just a way to make a living. Sure, there’s a few things that we enjoy – the odd moment of creativity, or even just your workmates.

So why do we place so much importance on profession in finding a potential partner with online dating? If we’re all prepared to admit that our job doesn’t really define us in any way and that we much prefer the time spent out the office, then why do we then judge others for how they earn their dollar?

We were mulling this over here at PMP the other day, and decided it came down to security and lifestyle.

So, you’re reading an online dating profile and the guy says he’s a doctor. Your thoughts? Probably that he’s well set financially, with great career stability but probably works tricky hours. Would you hit ‘message’?

How about the girl that says she works in customer service in retail. Do you write her off as less career driven, or maybe not as educated? You’ll probably imagine she works weekends.

Finally, how about the person who says they own their own business. Do you admire their tenacity and drive in getting something off the ground, or worry about them having the free time to fit a partner in amongst all that paperwork?

It’s a tricky balance between sifting through your initial reactions and the person you’re thinking of dating. We’d say don’t ever write anyone off because of their job – many people are just trying to earn a living and one job is never the same as another, even if it has the same descriptor.

That retail assistant might be saving to complete her Masters degree. And that doctor might work in cosmetics with a highly flexible timetable. You might have hundreds of online daters to choose from, but that’s no reason to pigeonhole someone on account of their day job.

Did you know that most people that find PenMyProfile on Google by searching for ‘dating profile examples’? Well, you probably didn’t, because it’s not your job to find out things like or even be bothered with them. But, for us, we’re always interested to see what people are searching for in the online dating world and, from that, how we can best go about helping you.

What interested us was that it was examples people were searching for. Not tips, not advice from an expert, but actual examples – presumably so they could crib the best lines and edit it them for their own profile.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of savvy researching and it’s certainly a time-saver if you are lost for words. But let’s do the maths. If the website you’re cribbing from was on the first page of the Google results, then it’s likely at least another thousand people have also found that very same website. What if 500 of those people are using the same dating website as you, and 100 happen to be in the same search demographic as you? Then your profile is going to look preeeeetty similar to the next guy on the list. And that headline is going to sound oh-so-familiar to the woman with the blonde bob on the page for.

So what’s our point? Use the internet for advice, tips and a little inspiration, but your love life is worth more effort than just cribbing lines from someone else. Be the author or your own story, rather than a poor double in someone else’s.

Or, yunno, ask us for help.

Do you remember how great it was getting mail that wasn’t just advertising or your latest bill? A coloured envelope, or a handwritten address just kicked your day off the right way. The paper in your hands and the novelty of the occasion meant that every message meeant so much more – especially if it was from a loved one.

Whether you like it or not, online dating starts out with messages. There’s no chance for coy looks over a bar, or a smirk to portray your sarcasm – or even some nice, thick paper to convey your message. It’s just you, out there, on your own, with only some words to help you.

So this sunny* Friday (*not so sunny here in Leeds) we thought we’d share some of our best tips for messaging online:

1. More about them, less about you. Try and include at least three references to their profile that goes beyond ‘I liked your pictures’. Think more along the lines of: ‘I loved that you enjoy running so much, cos I’m a pavement-pounder myself!’

2. Short but sweet. Do you have time to read ten paragraphs? No. Keep it short, engaging and punchy.

3. Avoid cliches. No point having a witty profile and then ruining it all with pointless ‘Hey, you’re fit’ in your message.

4. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you reply to your message?

5. Include something that isn’t in your profile, don’t just repeat content. What are you doing that night? Something funny happen on your lunch break? What are you planning for the weekend?

Take it away!

Ok. So you’ve taken the plunge and finally joined an online dating website. You’ve sorted your profile , put up some cute photos, had a look around…..and now it’s time to message someone and start talking to them. You know, the actual reason you joined this website in the first place?

Now as a woman, it seems to me that us girls often leave all the messaging to the guys –  but I found that when I messaged guys first they often liked it as well, so ladies, don’t rest on your laurels if you find a man you like the look of.

Sending the first few messages can be a bit nerve-wracking. “What the actual frick do I say? How do I come off fun and interesting but not a complete kray-kray?” being some of my first thoughts when I started online dating. So here’s my Top Ten tips for writing a message to someone, gained from nothing more than my humble experiences.

1. Don’t just say “Hi.*” I don’t care if you’re the beautiful love child of Natalie Portman and Ryan Gosling, with lots of money and a stomach that looks like it’s been chiseled from marble – I will just instantly delete the message, usually without even going to your profile. At least LOOK like you’re making some kind of effort.

*derivatives of this include: heya, hello, how r u, evening, in fact any one word forms of salutations.

2. On the other hand, don’t make the message too long. I want to read a cute message from a guy, not some kind of Game of Thrones masterpiece. I have the real Game of Thrones books for that. Most people I imagine would lose interest in a really long message, so try not to write more than maybe three paragraphs. Yes, it’s all about that “striking the right balance.”

3. Don’t write in text speak. It winds me up something rotten. Is it really that hard to type “you” instead of “u?” Oh, and while we’re at it: getting your/you’re, there/their/they’re and where/wear wrong is another deal breaker.

E.g. (this was a real message I received)

“dam gurl u fine.. like summo dat art.

i always b meetin men wen im drunk Lol

u beakin bout sex n drugs n shit. wot u playin at bby gurl?! tryin 2 send me crazy up in hear lol

holla back yo. turn dat red lite green..”

Er…yes.

4. Read the profile. Pick out something in that you liked, or if you’ve got similar tastes in music or hobbies. Ask about it. My profile used to talk about my current career change and a lot of guys asked about it, which was great. Find something that’s obviously important to them and use that as a way in.

5. If they don’t reply, just leave it. Don’t send another whiney message asking why they didn’t reply to you, just repeat after me: “They’re just not that into you.” Get over it, move on.

6. Equally, if the website you’re using allows you to see who’s seen your page, don’t send a message along these lines:

“You looked but no follow up message, does that mean you aren’t interested then?”

Well, yes. Surely you can work that one out yourself? If I WAS that interested I would have messaged. That’s how this works. If I messaged every single profile I viewed I’d be on this damn site 24/7.

7. Flattery will sometimes get you everywhere. As long as it’s sincere.

Eg. “Good Lord… You are quite stunning. Very… Yum.

Anyway, liked the profile. Scratch that – loved it…

Swing by if the mood grabs. Otherwise – hunt well.”

Calling me stunning: good. Loving the profile: good. Staying quite casual: possibly the best bit – I know this guy likes me, but he isn’t going to get upset if I don’t message back. (I did, by the way).

8. If you want to be a bit more original than just asking about something in the profile: go for it! If you’re witty and clever an interesting message will definitely draw me in. I got a message once asking me to “get creative, and tell me where we’d go on a roadtrip.” I really enjoyed actually thinking about what I’d like to do and it definitely made me reply!

9. If you’re still absolutely clueless, sometimes just saying so is not forbidden. Remember everyone was new to it once and won’t judge – that said, try hard and read up for pointers as you probably can do better! Or, yunno, see what PenMyProfile have to say.

10. Just in case you were in any doubt and my pointers so far haven’t led us quite neatly to this point – don’t come across as a basket-case. I’ll leave you with this stonker of a message as an example.

“OMG my jaw just hit the floor!U r EXQUISITE!U R Utterly fine fine fineee! I never know what to write on these things so here goes….I’m pretty level headed & don’t normally go so nuts over a girl BUT for YOU id crawl thru the Sahara & Id trek thru mosquito & crocodile infested swamps just to see u for 2 minutes but I hope u would have a cuppa & bandages ready for me! (So calm and level headed yeah?) I wouldn’t treat u like a princess but as a queen but not the Alan Carr type of queen! (My favourite bit!)

Just to let you know I’m not some jealous/possessive control freak nor am I some el saddo desperado..(of course not, why would I get that idea?) just looking & seeing if there is a nice girl for me…….I can cook/clean/iron the lot I don’t need a woman to pamper me (oh good, because I was looking to become a housewife) or look after me i just want a girl for………no not that! (Gosh, what could you mean?) Well not just that lol. I want a nice sweet girl that when get blip telling me i have a txt id hope its from her among other things. O I dunno what to say which is a first as I’m never lost for words!! Aarghhhhhh!I hope im not talking rubbish! (Well, yes, you are)

Would love to get too know u so I hope we talk soon! Was my birthday xmas eve-yes really-worse time of the year to be single! If only I had met u ages ago it would have saved me from my mates that day & made my new years eve a lot better then getting a bagel from brick lane @3am hahaha (Gosh, aren’t you just ke-razy)

Sorry if im rambling but still aching from the 3hr torture my sadistic trainer inflicted on me in the gym earlier; (3 hours? Really? That seems implausible) it seems to have released the closet romantic in me…….” (That’s weird. Also what’s with the errant speech mark?) i would like to do with you what spring does with the cherry tress” (Sorry what??)……..Pablo Neruda-now thats what I want to feel about a woman.

Good luck!!

We came in today to a lovely email doing just that. He’s asked that we keep him anonymous, but just to share his feedback as it made us feel warm and fuzzy here in the office!

Over to you…

The profile sounds great!  Reading that I thought wow what a cool person, where’s the contact button lol.

I was actually googling for tips on how to write a profile which is how I found you, and then came across a page saying there are professional services for this if you’re one of those people that just can’t write about yourself!

The only two sites I could find were another one and yours. Between you and them, you had a better site, and I was a little worried theirs might be too Americanised.  For some reason their website looked like one of those that sells quick fix weight loss pills lol.  I emailed them first actually, and they did get back to me very quickly, but seemed a bit negative about the profile being ‘humerous’.  I then did a quick google for background on both their site and yours and I found your twitter!  

Reading your twitter I was convinced.  I actually use twitter for work so I know if you make things up on there, people call you up very quickly whereas a website you can write any old claims!

Looks like i made the right decision

Anyway, thanks again, and I’ll be sure to let you guys know if i find the ‘one’ and how your profile helped!